Weddings! The dress. The tuxedo. The food. The shoes. The cake. The dance. The euphoria!
You see, they may have a big impact on your wallet, marriage however has a huge and often forever impact on your life.
All things being equal, you spend the longer or longest part of your life with your spouse than any other relation.
Your spiritual life, how you worship, sometimes the food you eat, the travel you make, your career pathway, your business life, your emotional and mental health , your financial life and virtually every aspect of your life can and usually is impacted and influenced by your choice of marriage partner.
Essentially, many times, the rest of your life, depends on those two words ‘I do’.
So should you marry? When? And to who? These are question you should evaluate and answer between yourself and God.
Marriage is an institution created by God and so when you want to get into it and way before you even do, you should seek God in it (and all else). He is the author of marriage, so unless you do it his way, you are bound to get it wrong. In fact, he is the author and owner of life and so you need him to get it right.
There are a number of bad stories out there about marriages and it can get scary. Sometimes the marriage in total is not bad but you may have two people or one of them, unwilling to follow the author’s manual. If you want success in your home, you must align with God.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,”
We must learn priorities. God, I believe should come first and then your spouse next, so you do not have your priorities muddled up.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33 NIV
Do not be dismayed. When God makes something it is good. There are so many beautiful marriages and people whose lives have been made better because of their spouses. They have a closer relationship with God, excel in their careers and business, have better confidence , are healthier and more!
Often, I believe a person yielded to God and willing to learn can improve upon many things including marriage.
Setting out or into marriage with the hope of changing a person is something you should however re-evaluate. God is the one that can change a person.
My wedding anniversary is the 9th of November and I thought I could give myself and everyone a gift of learning from other people’s marriage advice and perhaps experiences.
Having now been married for 5 years, I realize that the investments that should be made into marriage should actually start even before you get married. I also now understand that you are responsible for what you can do on your own end and for your reactions and that your spouse is responsible for theirs. I also know that marriage gives you someone to help shoulder the burdens that can come with day to day living and it gives you someone to also enjoy the blessings that comes with life. 😊
In light of wanting to learn how to better myself in marriage and how some of you readers can be prepared for marriage and also better yourselves in marriage, I took a survey with married people and you get to see their opinions and advise in this post.
Oh and Happy anniversary to my family and to the Samuels. ❤️
The Samuels are friends that have become like family to us. We moved into the same apartment complex/compound and realized we shared the same wedding date 09/11/2013. Needless to say, they have been a blessing to me and my family.
Anonymous 3 says that married people should learn to be patient and those planning to marry should learn honesty.
I agree. The idea of lying just because you want to marry someone would usually result in hardships that are unnecessary. It is better to be honest with yourself and the person you plan to marry so that you both walk in clear headed and hearted.
Janet smith has this to say to married people: ‘Let go of expectations and stay committed no matter what‘ and this to those intending to marry: Ensure the room for effective communication is open at all times.
On expectation I believe it’s okay to have expectations but also give room to the possibility of some surprises and keep hope and love and prayers up and alive as you go. For intending couples though, yes, definitely keep communication active.
Have you read any advice so far that sparks something in you? Please comment below.
Marriage does require work indeed. This is not a bad thing. When you want to succeed at your business and careers you find yourself willingly committing to all the work necessary to get it right. Consider the hard work necessary for marriage in the same light. If you love a thing you should invest/work to sustain it.
Lois Kange who just celebrated her 7 years wedding anniversary has this to say to married people: Trust and patience is key. Learn to communicate. Don’t go to bed angry and to those intending to marry she says this: There’s no perfect human. You’re not perfect, so be ready to complement your partners flaws.
Yes, that don’t go to bed angry is key isn’t it? If we can learn to master that we would be on a good path. I think when you get to that point it would be equal to caring enough about the soul of the person and your marriage that you want your spouse and you to go to bed happy or at least comforted. For the intending couples, no one is indeed perfect, but know your cores. What are some things that you can’t compromise? Know it and if you do not mind, Let us know in the comment section.
Kenneth has this to say to married folks: Understand God’s concept of marriage, follow His counsel, walk by His love, put the flesh aside, leave the world behind you.
To those intending to marry he has this to say: Let God lead you to your spouse, understand God’s concept of marriage, date with purpose, date with marriage as a priority, don’t waste unnecessary time over relationship that’s going no where, seek godly counsel, people have gone ahead of you.
Nena also points us Amos 3:3:
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
Amos 3:3 KJV
Be of like minds!
Anonymous 3 believes patience, tolerance and prayers are key to a successful married life. To those intending to marry, anonymous 3 has this to say; pray about it. Its better late than to regret you ever did get involved with the wrong person.
Joycy says if you are married, be patient with your spouse. Always forgive and respect each other. To those intending to marry she puts it simple: love yourselves.
Monique advices married people to inquire from God before they say or do anything and to those planning to get married she says: always seek the face of God before entry, that is the only thing that guarantees peace round about.
DBA advices married folks to make God the center of their homes, never compare your spouse/marriage to another, have open communication between you and your spouse and forgive before offence arises. To those hoping to get married, DBA says: Make sure God is involved from the beginning, Marry someone who loves God and obeys him. Marry your friend.
To all the people who took the survey, thank you. I would like to think everyone reading would learn or at least be reminded of something.
My advice: whatever the stage of your marriage and relationship, take it to God, daily. Find godly counselors or couples that you can look up to and have chats with as often as possible or necessary.
For an institution (marriage) that is hoped to be forever, we do little preparedness. If we take continuing education classes for our careers, why shouldn’t we do the same for marriage?
Is marriage and it’s ‘consequences’ that important? You bet it is. It’s a small unit of a society and country and if we can get it right at home, we can get it right in the country.
If you are married, ask yourself, what can I do to make my marriage better? Not what can your spouse do, but what can you do!
To all the people who negatively impact on and influence marriages negatively, even by your words or actions, or those trying to force or influence their relative to act in ways that can negatively impact their lives or marriage, this is also a call to you to reevaluate and desist from putting asunder.
I encourage you, especially those planning to get married, to read the book, Things I wish I’d known before we got married by Gary Chapman.
Cheers to happy godly marriages. To every man and woman who daily prays and put in all they should, spiritually, physically and otherwise, to make God and their spouse happy, you are amazing. Thank you and may God bless you in Jesus name! Amen!
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A foundation I am aware of is trying to make dresses for less privileged girls and they are trying to raise funds to achieve this. If you would like to be a part of this, please click here to be a part of this project.
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